What people don’t tell you about living abroad

I love to travel, always did. I decided to move abroad as an au pair for two years without thinking about it too much. I’m in my second year living in the States, an ocean apart from Italy, my country. In two years I’ve been abroad I lost two relatives, two people that have been part of my life since I was born.

Last year, on March 13, 2016, I’ve lost my aunt Luisa. She was diagnosed with breast cancer several years ago. She lost her battle against this terrible enemy three months after I left home. I will always remember the last time that I saw her, on my farewell party with all the family. We took a terrible picture together because she was saying it would have been the last one. I didn’t pay attention that much but unfortunately, she was right.

On May 11, 2017, I lost my beloved Grandpa. I’m still crying while writing this post because my heart is broken in tons of pieces. My Grandpa was the happiest and messiest person that I’ve ever met. He drank a lot, he played a lot of instruments and he was always doing something, every single time I was going to his house. Last November, thanks to my host family, I went back home for one week and as soon as he saw me he smiled and said: “you’ve lost weight … almost.” I took as a compliment and I ate a piece of cake that he made because he was a great and weird chef. I heard his voice a month ago, my parents told me he was happy to hear my voice.

This is what people don’t talk about when you move abroad. They talk about being away from your family but they clearly don’t say what really sucks: when someone dies, for the last time, you are not going to be there for them but most of all you are not going to be there for the rest of your family. You can’t hug your mom, your dad or your brother. You are going to cry by yourself in a room that now is yours, speaking on the phone with your mom in tears. You are going to sigh loudly. You are going to hear a lot of “I’m sorry”, and you know that they really are, but they didn’t know how amazing the person you lost was, they don’t know how the world is less bright because of that. If you are lucky you are going to have friends, a kind of weird family, a boyfriend, someone that loves you and hugs you but you know, no matter what, that that one person you would love a hug from is gone forever.

I don’t want anyone to tell me: “it was your choice, you knew the consequences.” Yeah, I knew and I still know the consequences of living abroad but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t deeply hurt losing someone. No matter what, when you leave you don’t think about this. You don’t think about receiving a call in which your parents tell you the words you are so afraid to hear. You don’t think about this. Everyone talks about the fun part, others talk about the hard parts but few talks about what really sucks about living abroad: what happens when you lose someone you love and you can’t go back.

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Ps: I wrote this post two nights ago, after I discovered my granpa was gone forever. It may not make sense but I want to post it and I’m doing it.

NAMASTE.

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6 days in April in Washington D.C.

Spring break 2017: Washington D.C. My reaction wasn’t that happy. I wished about Carribean islands, not another city, but you know what, I didn’t care that much because it was chosen and paid by my host family. The weather was surprisingly hot: around 80 degrees Fahrenheit (30 degrees Celsius) and sunny 5 days over 6. I walked a lot, saw a lot of monuments that I had the chance to see only in movies and visited a couple of museums.

DAY 1 – April 8, 2017

We arrived in Washington D.C. around 5 PM after leaving Madison, WI, around 12:15 PM. We had a connection flight in Detroit, MI. The first day, since we arrived pretty late and tired, we didn’t go out or explored. The house we rented was in the Foggy Bottom district. A really pretty zone, close to the George Washington University, about 20 minutes walk to Georgetown and the Lincoln Memorial.

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DAY 2 – April 9, 2017

The first day of behaving like actual tourists we decided to walk to the Lincoln Memorial. We started there our long walk along the National Mall. Since my host mom was going to leave the next days because of a work problem we tried to see as much as possible. We started from the Lincoln Memorial, then the Washington Monument stopping at the Vietnam and World War II Memorials. We had lunch at the National Gallery of Art Sculpture Garden that has a tiny café in it. After, we kept walking till the Capitol that was unfortunately closed. Since the little kid was tired I had to Uber home with him and the oldest while the parents and the middle one kept wandering around.

We decided to do a little bit of shopping around 6 PM. We wandered around Georgetown, shopped a little bit and then we ate at a Spanish restaurant called “La Bodega”. It was really nice and the calamari and patatas bravas were awesome.

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Lincoln Memorial

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The Statue of Abraham Lincoln

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Lincoln Memorial and the Reflecting Pool

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World War II Memorial

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The Capitol

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The Washington Monument from Capitol Hill

 

DAY 3 – April 10, 2017

We started our day around 12 PM having lunch at the Whole Foods close to the house. After that, we decided to go to the Smithsonian National Portrait Gallery. We walked there and we stopped in front of the White House to take some pictures. I have to admit I thought it was bigger. I had the same impression with the Christmas tree in front of the Rockefeller Center in New York. On tv, it looked way bigger. After 20 minutes walk, we arrived at the Gallery. As all the Smithsonian Museums, they are free. We wandered around, searching for Alexander Hamilton’s portrait (my host family is obsessed with Hamilton, the musical). We visited the President’s Gallery passing thru the center of the building, a really nice place to relax and to find peace. On the way home, we stopped at the Forever 21 on 11th Street NW.

 

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The White House

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LaFayette Square

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Smithsonian National Portrait Gallery

 

DAY 4 – April 11, 2017

Another museum day since outside was too warm for the kids. My host dad and the three kids took a cab to the Newseum while I enjoyed an amazing 1-hour long walk till the museum on Pennsylvania Avenue. The Newseum was cool, everything about newspapers, new medias, tv. You have to pay around 25$ per adult but I don’t know if it is actually worth it. I recognized that it was interesting but not the type of museum in which I want to spend money. There was a really thoughtful 9/11 Memorial and part of the Berlin Wall. We ate at the restaurant in the lower level of the museum. After that, we didn’t know if we wanted to hit the Jefferson Memorial or stop at the Natural History Museum. Since the queue outside the museum was short we stopped by. The museum is really interesting, crowded and free. After that, I walked another hour home.

We had dinner at an Italian restaurant close to Georgetown, La Perla.

 

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9/11 Memorial at Newseum

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View from the top of the Newseum of the Capitol

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Natural History Museum

DAY 5 – April 12, 2017

Last full day in Washington DC we decided to take it easy and head to the Jefferson Memorial. Unfortunately, we missed the cherry blossom and the sky was cloudy but I really liked the walk around the Tidal Basin visiting the Roosevelt and Martin Luther King Jr. Memorials.

 

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Thomas Jefferson

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Last cherry blossoms

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Jefferson Memorial

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Washington Monument and Jefferson Memorial

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Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial

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Washington Monument

Day 6 – April 13, 2017

The last day we didn’t see anything. Since we had the check out from the house at 11 AM and the flight at 3:30 PM we headed to the airport and we decided to eat and wait there because everyone was carrying too much to walk around the city. We landed in Madison, WI, around 5 PM.

 

I really enjoyed Washington DC but the city didn’t steal my heart. I liked walking around, seeing all the monuments and buildings that somehow remind me of Europe’s architecture. I didn’t even miss yoga class because we were on spring break. Walking helped me contain the need to practice but I really missed roll down the mat and do some poses. On Monday, we had the first class after spring break and I felt amazing after doing it. I have to start to find a way to practice even when I’m traveling.

NAMASTE.

 

What I’ve learned in 3 months of yoga

Three months ago I did my first yoga class. Three months ago I was a different person from the one I’m today. Probably, in three months from now, I’ll be a totally different person as well. I realized that a couple of days ago. I was showing my boyfriend some poses and suddenly I realized how I’ve changed in those three months of practicing:

I CAN BE FLEXIBLE TOO.

 

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I know, it may sound silly but I’ve always thought my flexibility was forever gone. I’ve never been able to bend that much. It’s been years since my fingers touched my toes keeping my legs straight but last week I did it. I was struggling, a lot, but I did it and I was so happy that I’ve achieved that little step. It means that one of the reasons why I’ve started yoga is working. It means that I’m not going to be a piece of wood for the rest of my life. It means that my body is working, is stretching, is becoming more fit.

NOBODY CARES HOW GOOD I DO A POSE, EXCEPT ME.

 

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At the beginning of my yoga classes, I was always looking all around, while doing a pose, trying to see if it was just me that was struggling to hold the pose. One day, I decided to do yoga at home. I rolled my mat, grabbed my strap and block, and started doing some poses that we learned in class. I realized that holding the pose wasn’t that difficult anymore. I was focused just on myself and standing just on one foot doing the tree pose was still a challenge, but less frustrating because I was focused on my body, on every single muscle contracted to reach the stability. The next day, I had a yoga class and while we did the tree pose I realized I wasn’t looking at my classmates.  I was just looking at one point on the ground and I kept my gaze there. I held the pose, not for all the time, but for most of it. I didn’t feel frustrated. I felt good because I stopped from comparing myself to others.

I’M MORE EAGER TO DO PHYSICAL ACTIVITY

 

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They say that you need 21 days to built a habit. 90 days after the beginning of my yoga practice I can say that it’s pretty true. I’ve never been an athletic or active person. Even at the time in which I was practicing swim or volleyball I never felt the need or necessity to do physical activity. Now, I feel that need. I want to do it because I like what I’m seeing, I like my body changing, I like that my body is stronger now. When I don’t have class I just roll my mat in my basement and I do some practice, just because I want it. It is something strange for me, weird in a good way.

I can’t wait to see what I’m going to learn in the next three months.

NAMASTE.

 

 

 

1200 miles road trip in 4 days.

Be an au pair means that you have only two weeks of paid vacation through the year. I’m not complaining, two paid vacation weeks it is awesome, but for someone who wants to see as much as possible of the country in which is living for a strict amount of time, it is not that much. That’s why I came out with the insane idea of traveling thru the Midwest till Nashville in four days, touching six States: Wisconsin, Illinois, Missouri,  Kentucky, Tennessee, and Indiana.

I found the perfect companion in 5 German girls. Franzi, who lives in Madison and is an au pair as well, found out that her roommates from Germany where coming to the States the same time I was planning this road trip. Everybody accepted.

Thanks to my host parents we didn’t have to rent any car (which for under 25 is a nightmare, btw) and we drove that poor 2005 Honda Odyssey for something like 1200 miles. We had to change the oil along the way because, well, I hadn’t check anything before we left. But, we made it home, that’s what it matters.

FIRST STOP: ST. LOUIS, MO

I drove from Madison, Wisconsin, to Chicago, Illinois on Friday night after work. I met the Germans at my host family’s condo in the Windy City and we spend the night there. The next morning we left around 9 am, after having breakfast and put the gas into the car, we headed to St. Louis, our first stop. It was there, just entered the highway, that the orange sign that alerts you to change the oil popped out. Yeah, lucky us. We decided to drive till it dropped to 10%, only when that moment would have come we would have start searching for help.

I don’t know if you ever experienced the Wisconsin winter, it’s not nice. It’s really really cold. Chicago is basically the same. Driving south was amazing for us. We left our jackets in the car and we started to feel the spring and the warmth of the sun.

We arrived in St. Louis, MO around 4 pm. We found the Airbnb, a really nice house in a quite neighborhood in University City, just 15 minutes from the Gateway Arch.

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We drove to downtown St. Louis and we spent a lot of time taking pictures at the Arch. Unfortunately, we couldn’t go on top of the Arch because it was closed because of work in progress.

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SECOND STOP: NASHVILLE, TN

The next day we left St. Louis around 8. On our first stop, about 1 hour and a half after departing, we decided to change the oil. We found a Walmart with an Auto Center and in about one hour everything was fixed. We arrived in Nashville around 2 pm and we decided to head straight to Centennial Park before going downtown. It was a Sunday and there was a lot of people hanging out there. The weather was awesome even if cloudy. I think I was more attracted to the people having fun all around the Pantheon than by the Pantheon itself.

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We drove downtown Nashville and we parked at the Public Library. Suddenly we fell in love with the city. Broadway, the main street, was amazing. There was music everywhere, people having fun, bands playing at 3 pm, country stores selling boots. Everything was like in the movies and we decided to stop at a bar and drink a beer before heading to our amazing Airbnb, just 10 minutes away from downtown.

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The next morning, before heading to Louisville, KY, we decided to try to find one of Nashville’s famous graffiti.

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THIRD STOP: LOUISVILLE, KY

After taking our Instagram pictures and a stop at Starbucks we headed to Louisville, KY. It was just a 3 hours drive, we were supposed to arrive by 1 pm but Franzi and I had this idea of stepping off the highway and try to find an Amish village. I was searching on Google and it was said that there was the biggest Amish settlement close to Munfordville, KY. I think we drove around 1 hour in the middle of nowhere, asking everyone where the Amish people were. The answer was always the same: “go straight, up the hill, you are going to see them”. Did we see them? Absolutely not. At one point we thought they were hiding from us. We just gave up and ate a burger at Wendy’s before driving another couple of hours to our third destination.

We stopped at the Airbnb first, it was around 4 pm when we arrived. The house looked pretty dodgy from the outside. It was an old house but it was ok for the amount of time that we were going to spend in it.

We drove downtown Louisville, to the Fourth Street. It was a Monday and obviously, nothing was going on. It was raining too but after looking around we had dinner in an amazing place suggested by our Airbnb host: Gordon Biersch Brewery.

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Before going back to our apartment, we decided to take a walk on the Big Four Bridge. A really nice walk on the Ohio River where you can have a nice view of downtown Louisville.

FOURTH STOP: INDIANAPOLIS, IN.

We left a rainy Louisville to head to our last and quick stop, Indianapolis, IN. The weather, on the way up north, was terrible but as soon as we arrived in Indianapolis it stopped raining. Louisville and Indianapolis are about 1 hour and a half apart, not a big deal. We decided not to go downtown Indianapolis but look at the skyline from the White River State Park.

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After lunch, we drove all the way up to Chicago and then to Madison, WI. We arrived at our last destination around 9 pm. We were in Chicago during the rush hour so our timetable got one hour delayed. Instead of 5 hours, it took us 6 hours.

This road trip was amazing and exhausting at the same time. We drove more than 1200 miles, we changed city every day and we saw so many things that sometimes it is hard to remember. But road trips, as much as they are exhausting, they are perfect to see, to go on an adventure, because they allow you to stop when you want. Yes, you have a timetable but everything can be changed based on your needs. I’m so glad I had open minded companions in this travel and I’m glad I’ve shared this experience with them.

NAMASTE.

Legs up the wall

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Since I was a kid I have this habit to lay on my back and put the legs on the wall. It relaxes me, it stops my legs from hurting after a workout or a long walk.  I can read, I can work on my computer putting a pillow under my head, I can watch a movie. I thought it was something that was mine, my characteristic, my peculiarity. Pinterest made me find out that I’m not that unique, under this weird point of view.  Scrolling down the home I found this picture with the description of all the benefits that this pose has.

I was a little bit disappointed at the beginning, then I saw the bright side: since I was a kid I was practicing yoga in my weird way. So I did research about the argument and I found out pretty interesting things.

First of all, the right Sanskrit name is “Viparita Karani“. Viparita means inverted, karani means making. So, it could be translated as “making inversion” because it inverts everything we usually do when we are seated or we are standing. I’ll probably keep calling it “legs up the wall”, it’s more figurative and it is easier to remember.

It’s one of the most restorative poses in the yoga world and has a lot of benefits:

  • it can help alleviate headaches
  • it’s an energy booster
  • relieve lower back pain
  • it can help against jet-lag
  • it relieves stress
  • it relieves tired leg muscles

It is a pose that can be held from 5 to 20 minutes. At the beginning, it may feel weird in your legs, like a weird tickle. Just bend your knees and give your legs a little movement. This simple pose, that doesn’t need any kind of warm up and it can be done everywhere, it can really help your body to relieve pain. It boosts your brain too. In this pose you don’t have to focus on any kind of muscles, you just have to relax, free your mind and let your blood slowly go back to your brain. I had my best ideas stuck in that position, even if at the time I had no idea it was connected to yoga. I just did it because it made me feel good. Adding a breath technique helps even more.

This simple pose, that doesn’t need any kind of warm up and it can be done everywhere, it can really help your body to relieve pain. It boosts your brain too. In this pose you don’t have to focus on any kind of muscles, you just have to relax, free your mind and let your blood slowly go back to your brain. I had my best ideas stuck in that position, even if at the time I had no idea it was connected to yoga. I just did it because it made me feel good. Adding a breath technique helps even more.

So, basically, for my entire life, without even knowing it, I was giving my body all those benefits. I don’t even know how I started. Most likely in the summer when I needed the fresh wall to relieve the pain of the warm summer air. In my Italian house, we don’t have air conditioning, we just open the windows and let the air do its job. Sometimes it doesn’t work, when the summer is really hot the air doesn’t do its job and you have three other possibilities: go in the basement, open the fridge and hide in there or put you close to the wall. It is something that I’ve always done since my bed is close to the wall. So, that’s probably how I started to practice Viparita Karani without even knowing it.

NAMASTE.

 

 

Savasana: to be.

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“To deeply relax the body, we must first rest the mind” 

Since the first days of yoga practice, you start to learn different words in Sanskrit. Most of the time those words are really hard to remember. Like Svadhyaya (I still have problems writing it). But there’s one yoga pose name which I learned pretty easily: Savasana.

Savasana comes from the union of two Sanskrit words: Shava, meaning “corpse”, and Asana, meaning “posture” or “seat”. That’s why it is commonly called “corpse pose”. Actually, it looks like it. You lay down on your back, the arms spread at about 45 degree and eyes closed. It is usually done at the end of the yoga practice. It helps the body to reset itself after the body had been stretched, contracted, twisted and inverted. This means that every single muscle of your body can be relaxed, shed their normal habits and let go.

According to scientists, Savasana has amazing benefits on the brain too. During the practice we are bombarded with a lot of new information: new yoga poses, weird Sanskrit names, a lot of words that helps you set your strength and balance. It’s a lot to process in an hour. That’s why Savasana helps the brain too. It’s a way to pause it between the practice and the day that awaits you ahead.

Let’s say it clearly. Savasana may seem an easiest and useless pose. I thought the same. I changed my mind once the teacher explained us the real intentions of Savasana: letting go. For those minutes in which you hold the pose you are supposed to let go the practice that you just had, let go the life that awaits you outside the yoga mat, let go everything. For those minutes you just have to rest, clear your mind, let go. I tried. I seriously tried to clear my mind. Even after an exhausting practice, my mind keeps wander and wonder. I think about what I have to do next, my schedule for the day. If the Savasana takes longer the mind wanders even more: my family, my friends, my future. Everything suddenly pops out and I start to talk to myself. I impose myself to stop wandering but it’s difficult to let go.

We live in a society that always makes us think about the future. When you are young you have to know already what you want to do when you grow up. Once you’ve reached one goal you have always to aim to another. We hardly set our thoughts on the present. It’s always a constant worrying about what’s next without focusing on the present, without really understanding what’s going on in our life, without enjoying the moment.

That’s what I want for my Savasana practice. Being able to really let go. To focus just on myself even for a brief moment in my day. Not focusing on my future, but focusing on me. How do I feel, how am I practicing, how am I enjoying the moment. This is going to be hard, I know it, probably more than keeping the balance on a tree pose but I’m going to try it hard. I’m going to try to just be. 

NAMASTE.

Four States, two days.

Las Vegas. The Sin City. Lights. Gambling. Music. Casino. People. A lot of people. “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. Lots of movies, tv shows, and songs celebrate this weird city in the middle of the desert. I have to admit it, when I booked my flight to Las Vegas two weeks ago I didn’t know what to expect. You know, during the night you have fun in Vegas, but during the day? We had just two full days and we didn’t want to spend them in a hotel room or doing shopping in stores that can be found 20 minutes away from home. We looked up on Pinterest and we found out that around Las Vegas there are so many natural attractions that fit all of them in two days was kind of impossible. 

We took the flight from Milwaukee on Thursday night, 9:55 PM. We landed in Las Vegas around 12 AM and after stopping at the car rental to grab our car, we headed to our first hotel: Fiesta Henderson Hotel and Casino. It is in the south part of Las Vegas, away from the sparkling lights of the Strip. Next morning, at 6 AM, we woke up and we drove four hours and a half to the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. While I was driving my eyes were wide open, trying to collect all the amazing views in front of me. The landscape was stunning, it changed a lot in the hours that we were driving. It was dry at first, then a lot of trees appeared and then we arrived at the Grand Canyon. We paid 30$ to enter the park with our car. We decided to head to the Mather Point and when the canyon appeared in front of us it took my breath away. It was stunning. One of the best things that I’ve ever seen. 

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It was around 1 AM when we decided to move up north to the Desert View where we visited the Watch Tower. There we had lunch looking at the amazingness of the Grand Canyon in front of us.

We didn’t want to go back to Las Vegas yet. We knew there were other things just two hours and a half up north. So we decided to drive thru the Navajo Nation and reach Page, AZ. Our first plan was to visit the Antelope Canyon but it was too late so we stopped at the Horseshoe Bend. We parked the car and while the sun was starting to hide behind the clouds we reached the point. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was perfect. It’s truly difficult to explain how beautiful everything was. We stayed there till the sun went down.

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After that, we decided to drive back to Las Vegas. After driving other four hours and a half thru Arizona, Utah, and Nevada we finally arrived at our other hotel, Super 8, behind the Strip. We were so tired when we arrived around 11 PM that we didn’t even think of going out. We took a shower and we fell asleep right away.

The next morning we woke up around 7 AM and, after a nice breakfast at the hotel, we drove two hours to the Death Valley, CA. The weather wasn’t nice as the day before and when we arrived at the Death Valley we couldn’t see thru Dante’s View because it was so cloudy and foggy. We decided to go to Zabriskie Point and then drive till Furnace Creek.

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After that, because of the weather, we decided to drive back and head to the Valley of Fire just 40 minutes from Las Vegas. We decided to go there because in Las Vegas was raining while there, according to the weather app, it wasn’t. We were lucky. We arrived around 4.50 PM and the ranger told us that the park was going to close at sunset, around 5:15 PM. We drove like crazy. We wanted to see as much as possible and it was totally worth it. It was stunning. Much better than the Death Valley. It was spectacular. The colors were so bright it was unbelievable.

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Finally, we headed to Las Vegas. We spend just a couple of hours there. We walk around the Strip and we saw the Bellagio’s Fountain performance. At 11:25 PM there was our flight back to Milwaukee.

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In the end, I have to admit it: we didn’t experience the real Las Vegas. We slept there and we walked around a couple of hours. Do I regret it? Nah, not at all. There’s going to be another time in which I will go to Vegas just to have fun and get wasted. This time we decided that our adventure spirit wanted to be satisfied. We drove 13 hours, I don’t know how many miles. We drove day and night, with the rain and the sun. We were tired, at the end. If you ask me if I will do it again I’d say: ABSOLUTELY. After this vacation, I feel like my soul had been fed again. Everything I saw was worth my time. I checked out of my bucket list amazing places that before I had seen only in the movies. Travel is amazing, it makes you live again, it makes you grow, it makes you be a better person.

This wasn’t a post about yoga, I know. But traveling is an important part of my life. It makes me feel alive. That’s why I will try to put every significant travel in this blog, alongside with my yoga journey. Isn’t yoga this too? Find your true self. I feel like traveling is like yoga, it makes you find yourself. It makes you understand who you really are in an environment totally different from yours. It challenges you. It drives you crazy sometimes but, at the end, it makes you feel amazing, balanced and alive.

NAMASTE.